November 25, 2024 • 1hr 54min
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Modern Wisdom
Key Takeaways
- Balance is crucial - Being out of balance in any area of life (work, relationships, emotions) leads to problems
- True success isn't just about working harder - Sometimes success means slowing down and finding peace
- Horses mirror humans - They reflect back our emotional state and help teach important life lessons about communication and self-control
- Men need to learn better communication - Especially in relationships with women and understanding emotional needs
- Strong fatherhood is vital - Good fathers provide discipline, protection, and guidance that shapes future generations
- Self-worth must come from within - Learning to like yourself is key before seeking external validation
- Living simply brings contentment - Material excess and status symbols don't equal happiness
Introduction
Dewayne Noel is a wrangler, cowboy, educator and founder of Dry Creek Wrangler School. In this wide-ranging conversation, he shares wisdom gained from decades of working with horses, raising seven children, and maintaining a 34-year marriage. His perspective challenges modern "hustle culture" and offers insights on finding balance, treating women with respect, and developing authentic self-worth.
Topics Discussed
Early Life and Path to Becoming a Cowboy (00:00)
Dewayne discusses his upbringing in Kentucky in a Baptist preacher's family and his lifelong dream of becoming a cowboy. Despite not growing up on a ranch, he pursued this calling:
- Left a factory job at age 26 to learn horse packing in Idaho
- Hitchhiked to Wyoming with just $9 to find ranch work
- Made sacrifices including temporary separation from wife and infant child
- "Every little boy in this country at a certain age, they want to be a cowboy when they grow up. The only difference for me was I never outgrew it."
Personal Transformation and Finding Balance (09:30)
Dewayne shares his journey from being an angry, tightly-wound person to finding peace:
- Catalyst for change came after having a heart attack and realizing he didn't like himself
- Made conscious choices to remove negative influences:
- Stopped watching news
- Cut off toxic relationships
- Changed diet
- Spent more time in reflection
- "I can't continue to live like this...I had to make some decisions. What's making me like this? I need to get it out of my life."
Lessons Learned from Horses (12:47)
Working with horses has taught Dewayne profound lessons about communication and emotional control:
- Horses mirror human emotional states - they can detect heart rate and stress levels
- Focus on the mind, not the body - physical force rarely works
- Clear communication requires patience and understanding
- "Your horse is just a mirror of you...any problem that you're having with your horse is just a reflection of a problem that you have inside."
Views on Modern Men's Culture (43:26)
Dewayne critiques aspects of modern masculinity and "hustle culture":
- Balance is crucial - men need both work ethic and ability to relax
- Questions extreme "grind" mentality promoted by some influencers
- Advocates for allowing men time to think and reflect
- "I don't like the trend in this men's motivation circle...I don't like the hustle culture as is being brought out and taught today...I think it's out of balance."
Relationships and Understanding Women (1:24:17)
Drawing from 34 years of marriage, Dewayne shares insights on male-female relationships:
- Key advice for men:
- Treat women as special, not just equal
- Listen without trying to fix everything
- Communicate clearly but gently
- What women should understand about men:
- Men carry heavy internal burdens
- They need gratitude more than therapy
- Communication style differs from women
- "They don't need therapy, they need gratitude."
Fatherhood and Family Values (1:33:19)
Dewayne emphasizes the crucial role of fathers in society:
- Protected his daughters by screening potential suitors
- Taught core values:
- Honesty above all
- Respect for others
- Personal responsibility
- Believes society's problems stem from absent/ineffective fathers
- "This country is a failure today because the fathers and the husbands have failed."
Living Simply and Finding Contentment (1:44:12)
Discusses raising seven children on modest income through frugal living:
- Key principle: Learning to say "no" to unnecessary expenses
- Lived in mobile home, drove old cars
- Focused on needs versus wants
- Found contentment independent of material possessions
- "You don't need near as much as you think you need."
Finding Personal Peace (1:51:15)
Dewayne shares his perspective on what makes a good life:
- Quality of life comes from within, not external circumstances
- Happiness found in simple pleasures
- Focus on being present in each moment
- Leave places and people better than you found them
- "Whatever happens, whatever I'm doing today, we can make this a really good day."
Conclusion
This conversation offers a refreshing counterpoint to modern hustle culture, emphasizing the importance of balance, authentic relationships, and finding contentment through simplicity. Dewayne's wisdom, gained through decades of working with horses and raising a family, provides valuable insights for anyone seeking to live a more grounded and meaningful life. His message about the vital importance of fatherhood and treating others with respect resonates particularly strongly in today's cultural context.